Seen Also in Humans
by An Cailin Rua
Summary: In which Megamind, thrust into a whole lot of human contact that he's not used to, particularly with Roxanne Ritchi, discovers a strange alien power he didn't know he had.
1. Chapter 1

Megamind did not know the true name of his species, though he had told Roxanne a time or two that he informally referred to them as Vegans, due to their star's (now black hole's) proximity to the Vega system. He pronounced it in the same manner as humans who choose not to eat any animals or animal byproduct, which Roxanne found amusing. Perhaps a little defensive, Megamind replied that it was also appropriate, because as far as his studies could tell, his people didn't eat animals or animal byproducts, and for that reason, neither did he. This was one of many logical oversights he tended to indulge in; he considered eggs "gross", but refused to recognize that hot dogs, which he enjoyed regularly, were made of meat. "Just look at them!" he once said. "Look at the consistency! It doesn't make any sense!"

Roxanne often wondered what other little habits he had inherited from the now-extinct Vegans, and what were just simply his own little eccentricities. His tendency towards grandiosity and his ability to block people out _had_ to be, at least a little bit, genetic. But there was one habit of his that struck her as strange, once their relationship began to grow a little more intimate. It seemed almost instinctive for him; whereas human males had hands that wandered, he had a head that wandered. He seemed to adore her touching it; the first time she had stroked it in an affectionate moment, he blurted out, perhaps a little too loudly, "Oh, that is exquisite! Keep doing that!" But the thing he preferred the most was to keep his head in contact with hers during intimate moments. She never asked him outright, but she assumed it had something to do with an alien instinct that he hadn't really gotten in touch with yet.

This was after their relationship became more of a "relationship", of course. At first, she wasn't sure where to go with it. Roxanne was genuinely surprised at the sudden self-restraint the once-villain displayed after Tighten was defeated. It wasn't humility, and it wasn't even pride that she sensed in him, but confusion. He was obviously glad that he had won for once in his life, and moreover to have found some genuine meaning in that victory, but like the "victory" over Metro Man that preceded it, after the thrill wore off he didn't seem to know what to do with it. The people were surprised and grateful to him, but they seemed just as confused as he was.

When the mayor and police chief made a deal with him, suggesting that by service to the city he might be able to work off those life sentences, Roxanne had stayed by his side to do damage control if he said or did anything stupid. She smiled at him encouragingly when the police chief detailed _every_ single crime he had been charged with in his life, reminding him that he had managed only one good, selfless deed in a sea of crime. She even held his hand, trying to instill a sense of confidence in him that this was the right path for him all along. But rather than make a show, publicly stroking his massive ego as he usually did, he was strangely tight-lipped, holding his little alien fish, Minion, in a mason jar someone had volunteered.

She studied him; it definitely wasn't humility. She knew him very well, and she had never once seen him display humility. It read to her more like being lost, like he had never been so far out of his comfort zone, and he had no idea where to go with any of this. When the two of them left City Hall, Roxanne close by his side, the confused, still frightened but a little bit cautiously optimistic gazes of the people they passed by towards Megamind's now doorless invisible car only seemed to exacerbate his strange mood.

"Yes, of course!" he declared awkwardly to no one in particular. "Your gratitude is accepted, good citizenry, by _I!_ Your new super…. Hero! Yes. You're welcome." He then slithered into his car as though he was hiding some deep dark secret, cursing when he realized that the driver's side door had been removed and people on that side could still see him.

Roxanne carefully got into the car with him, pursing her lips into a hopeful smile. "Well, I think this is going pretty well, all things considered! Life sentences and all!"

Megamind started to respond, but realizing that people could still see the conspicuous door into nowhere, he withheld. "May I offer you a ride?"

"You may," she said. His expression softened, less skeptical and now showing hope. "Would you take me home?"

Roxanne didn't say anything when she realized Carlos hadn't yet been rehydrated as they floated right past the doorman's kiosk. She knew this was a delicate time. He took minion with them, the little fish having fallen asleep on the way over. She was also tired, and didn't know what to do with him. She had invited him upstairs but that was just because she didn't want to leave him to his own devices. "I'm dead tired," she told him. "I don't think I've slept in… almost two days!"

"Hmm, you get used to it," he said as the door opened. She noticed he was staring at her, as though waiting for her to say something. When he came inside, as she took off her shoes, poured them both a glass of water and generally made small talk about how exciting and unexpected the last few days had been, Megamind placed Minion's bowl on a table and took in her apartment, scarcely listening to her. He poked the couch, as though he had never encountered a cushion before.

"Soft, very soft," he said, breaking her off in the middle of a sentence. He then sat on it, bouncing up and down a little. "Your couch is very soft."

Roxanne then got the distinct impression that the two were dancing around some big elephant in the room. "Is there something on your mind?" she asked.

"If you're tired, perhaps you might want to sit," he suggested, indicating to the spot next to him. It seemed to her that his head was off on a cloud somewhere. She did so, hesitantly, taking in the look in his eyes. The fuzzy elephant in the room started to take shape. Bernard, him losing hope, the dramatic rescue, it all came back to that one inevitable conclusion: he was still in love with her.

She wasn't quite sure yet where she fell.

He placed his hand on hers, giving her his sad, hopeful look. The thing that tortured her the most about that look was its sincerity. "You've been quiet today," she said.

He shrugged, pausing for a moment to gather his thoughts. "Well, I suppose that when we had been together, in the past, I mean, as Megamind the 'supervillain' and Roxanne the 'damsel in distress' we were playing parts," he said in a rare moment of clarity. "Does that make sense?"

She laughed, relieved. "It makes perfect sense."

"I could act in however way I wanted, because at the time I had nothing to lose. But I suppose, I'm realizing, now, I have a very great deal to lose. And if things continue-" he stopped himself. Glancing sidelong at her, nervously. She arched her eyebrows, beseeching him to continue. "Well, my point is, I'm not sure what to say, because I do have a habit of making things worse by saying… villainous things."

"I see," she said. "Were you playing a part when you were playing Bernard?"

"No!" he blurted, taking her hand and holding it to his skinny little chest. He started to elaborate, but, again, stopped himself. "I suppose that's the irony of the whole situation, isn't it? I think the thing I wanted to tell you is that anything I ever said to you _as_ Bernard, besides odd facts like 'My name is Bernard Hulbert, I was born in Cheboygan', that sort of thing, was the truth."

She didn't respond, processing what he was saying. "But you are tired!" he blurted, letting go of her hand. "You've had an exciting day, and the whole Bernard ordeal is behind us, and I am who I am and you've made that quite clear, not that I blame you! Oh no-"

"I think you're tired too," she suggested, placing a gentle hand on his cheek. "Since my couch is soft, you're welcome to sleep here, and we can discuss it tomorrow."

He scoffed despite himself. "Soft is for _sitting_! I would have such a headache in the morning. Your floor will do just fine." Sensing that he might be appearing ungrateful, he added, "That is, with your blessing, of course. That is not to say you have a bad couch. It is a very nice couch."

Roxanne, exhausted, shrugged and said, "Suit yourself." She got up and headed toward her bedroom.

"Roxanne," he said, meek for his bombastic personality. She turned around. "I mean to thank you," he said. "For your hospitality. And everything. _I mean_, I want to thank you for everything. And I want to apologize for everything."

She smiled softly. "Thank you."

"And I do mean, everything. The alligators, the mega-crane, the suspension-bridge, the drill…"

"It's okay."

"The plague rats, the stink ray, the Boston Terriers…"

"Please don't remind me."

"The football team, the jelly bombs, the nose hair-"

"That's enough!" she exclaimed through a forced smile. Again, he gave her the sincere face, and she relaxed. "It is a lot, but… apology accepted."

His expression melted into a big smile, and as she shut the door, she realized she had never seen him so happy.

The head-contact habit didn't start until the next morning. when she got up, he was gone, but Minion was still there, singing her a wonderful morning and assuring her that he just went out to _purchase_ coffee (with legal tender that he obtained… _legally_). He did indeed return within half an hour, having purchased eight distinct types of coffee, from straight espresso to latte to Americano, not knowing Roxanne's preference. She was touched, although she did ask him how he obtained money legally.

"Roxanne" he said, emptying a packet of sugar into her latte, "I thought you and Bernard did so much research on me! The problem with _stealing_ money is that when you get caught it gets returned to its rightful owner. I own the patents on a great number of things; cellular phone antennas, common shapes of printer cartridges, those environmentally friendly lightbulbs, and so on. These assets might get frozen from time to time but sense they are legally acquired, they cannot be taken away from me. Evil genius _always_ needs financial backing!" He smirked, handing her the latte. His gusto seemed to have returned, as well as his confidence.

She smiled to herself, and then at him. He took her hand and kissed it gently, sending a surprising flutter through her chest. "I would have loved to have taken you to breakfast properly, but I have a great deal of work to do today."

"You do?" She was a little bit crestfallen.

"Yes, the city isn't going to repair itself!" He announced, throwing on his new white cape he "borrowed" from Metro Man. Er, Music Man. "According to the Powers That Be, using my technology to fix the streets and the buildings will count a great deal towards working off my debt to society. So, off I go!" He grabbed Minion's little fish jar, the fish inside beaming proudly. "Today, I _officially_ go to _intentionally_ be the good guy. But before I do, would you indulge me in a storm check?"

"Rain check," Minion corrected him.

"Ah, rain check, for the lovely breakfast I was unable to provide you today in return for your… self… ness?"

Roxanne was taken aback at how, well, gentlemanly he was being. _Never in a million years,_ she mused, shaking her head and smiling. _Never in a million years would I have thought.._. "Alright, _Megamind,_" she said. "It's a… it's a date."

Try though he might, he couldn't hide the childlike glee in his expression, though he did manage to keep a lid on saying anything irreparably awkward, as he was wont to do. "Tomorrow, then!" he proclaimed, forefinger high in the air, "We break the fast!"

"Oh, we will break it," affirmed Roxanne. "Into… pieces."

Megamind grinned, placed his hand on her shoulder, and carefully moved in to kiss her on the cheek. Roxanne closed her eyes, waiting to see where it went. He broke the kiss, and leaned his big forehead to hers, keeping it there. "Then I look forward to it," he said, quietly. She sighed, leaning her face into his, and the two hugged. _Alright, _she thought,_ you win. I'll give it a chance._

At that moment, she hadn't thought of the head-contact thing as anything more than a charming, innocent little gesture of trust. It was only when she noticed how often he did it that she started to wonder whether there was more to it than that.

Inevitably, there was.


	2. Chapter 2

_You are now as wet clay in my hands!_

It had been months, maybe even years, when he so genuinely wanted to belt out the most triumphant of evil laughs. He thought, looking at his conquest not unlike the ways he used to look at large piles of money or small nation-states post (short lived) conquest. He had to keep it inside, though, because being in a place like this with Roxanne was _completely_ contingent on her utter cooperation and enjoyment; it wouldn't be satisfying any other way.

The two were sitting on her couch; her comfy couch, as he had termed it. They had just shared a lovely evening together, she had cooked, he had brought wine, and he hadn't yet done or said anything to compromise it. No brainbots, no blurting out ambitions of someday ruling the world. He had followed Metro Man's instruction's to a T, and to his surprise, it was working very well.

"I don't usually drink wine on a week night," she said, putting the glass down on her coffee table.

"Well, I don't usually enjoy the company of one so beautiful," he retorted. _Zing!_

She laughed, despite herself. "You flatter me, really," she said. "I _know_ you've kidnapped prettier girls than me."

"I might disagree," he said, taking another sip of the Pinot he bought. He hadn't told her how much it had cost (a lot). "But beauty is in the eye of the beholder."

She was blushing, unable to meet his gaze. She laughed into the ceiling, and looked out the door of her open patio. "Oh, my life," she said. "I…" she looked at him, picking up her wine glass again. "You surprise me, a lot. I feel like you should be writing romance novels."

"I have a talent for witty banter; I have to channel it somewhere, so I may as well channel it into complements."

She closed her eyes, clearly believing him, trusting him even, and he moved in, gently kissing her on her one of her eyes. Pulling back to judge her reaction, he sensed that she was even more relaxed. He kissed her other eye, even more gently, and this time she nearly dropped her wine glass. He caught it and put it back on the coffee table, and then ran his fingers over her temple, her jaw line, kissed her on the head, and then gently on the lips. Her breath caught slightly.

_Muahaha_. He kept the laugh internal. He _really _did want to laugh triumphantly. That is what one did, right? But not if one didn't want to ruin the mood, of course. Still, it felt quite glorious, completing even. He pulled her into an embrace, touching his forehead gently to hers, and she acceded willingly. _Finally, Mr. Goody Two-Shoes_, he thought, _looks like you've finally done me some good._

About two weeks prior, right after defeating Tighten, he had been in a panic. The idea of the city thinking of him as a hero was bad enough, but it seemed to him that he and Roxanne really _did_ have a chance then. He was still in love with her as much as ever, and the closeness of it, how temptingly possible it was, he didn't know how to conduct himself. That whole day, throughout the meetings, going home, she looked perfectly supportive, but no more than that. As though he had proven himself to her as a _person_, but not as a potential lover. And that he didn't know how to handle.

He hardly slept that night that he stayed at Roxanne's apartment. Minion would wake up periodically, noticing his big green eyes glued to the ceiling, or out the window, and he tried to counsel him. Megamind shushed him, afraid Roxanne would hear. Besides that, Minion couldn't help him. What he wanted more than anything was for Roxanne to love him as deeply as he did her, and Minion, for all his good qualities, was a fish, a fish who had never known the touch of a woman… fish. Megamind understood of the physical mechanics of love, but when it came to human courtship, there was no guidebook, no one who could help him, save perhaps from someone who knew about love and courtship first hand. And he didn't know _anyone_ who knew about that sort of thing first-hand.

Except…

Minion had wondered why it took Megamind hours to retrieve coffee that morning, but didn't ask for fear of making him look bad in front of Roxanne. In truth, rather than making a dash to the nearest Starbucks, he had hopped into his pitiful invisible car to the former Metro Man's hideout. And in this moment, a meeting of two former-rivals, the once-criminal genius prepared to beg for help.

But the first thing he got was an offer for a scotch on the rocks.

"But it's seven AM," said Megamind.

Metro Man shrugged. "It's five o'clock somewhere!" he pronounced, handing Megamind the glass. "Like Jimmy Buffet says, eh, little buddy?"

Megamind took the glass, still bewildered by the former Metro Man's sincerity. "I suppose."

Metro Man pursed his lip for a moment, then smiled. "I'm really proud of you, little buddy," he admitted after a moment. "I guess I always knew you had it in you. I just had to take a step back before I could see it."

Megamind was surveying some of the room's memorabilia. "Yes," he said. "I suppose circumstances change." Megamind's eyes were heavy, looking at one newspaper clipping that marked one of the first times Metromind had saved Roxanne from the evil clutches of Megamind. He turned to Metro Man skeptically. "Might we, at this point in time, consider ourselves allies, of a sort?"

Metro Man laughed. The word "friend" was probably too strong a word at this point. "I guess so."

"Then I beseech you for help," said Megamind taking a seat on one of the white recliners. "Do you suppose that, given that I am the city's new… _hero_…" The word still stung his tongue like rotten milk, "that you might offer me some assistance? And do so discreetly, that no one might ever know?"

"Hey, buddy!" said Metro Man, taking a fistful of Cheez-Its and popping them in his mouth betwixt sips of bourbon. "I'm dead, remember? Who am I going to tell?"

"Right," said Megamind. "Then I'm hopelessly in love with Roxanne and I want to learn the proper protocol that she might return my affections."

Metro Man crunched his Cheez-its slowly, a sly grin creeping on his face. "I might have guessed that."

"That is _by no means_ the reason I kept kidnapping her, I assure you!" he said, placing his glass of scotch on a table to make his dramatic point. "This all happened after your supposed death. I even deceived her to win her affections, so despite my admittedly _very _heroic actions yesterday afternoon, our relationship is quite delicate at best, and I admit I am outmatched because…"

Metro Man arched an eyebrow. Having grown up with the guy, he was aware of his vulnerable side, but he had never seen him display it since they were kids. "Because?"

"Because… you do promise this will never leave this room, correct?"

"I do promise, and I doubt whatever you have to tell me will be a surprise."

"Very well!" he boomed, trying so desperately to play the part of the villain. "I! I… I have never… been with a… I mean… Roxanne is… experience wise, compared to…"

Metro Man took it upon himself to stop the alien's stammering. "You've never… had a girlfriend."

Megamind calmed himself, grateful to Metro Man for preserving his dignity. "Not formally, no."

"And you feel like you're out of your league."

"I have made a career of falling a bit short of my lofty ambitions," he admitted. "My point is, the situation is very difficult, and I don't know where to proceed. I want to tell her how I feel, but I sense that now is not the right time."

"And you're right!" said Metro Man, reaching over to give Megamind a pat on the back. "It's too much for her right now. Good instincts little buddy! Wow, you and I were hardly ever in the same room together; takes a little getting used to, how small you are."

"_Ahem_," said Megamind. He hadn't yet touched his scotch. His metabolism was much more accelerated than a human's, and as a result hard liquor tended to go straight to his massive head, and he had to drive. "I'll resist the urge to engage in witty banter. I'd like to stay on topic."

"Okay," said Metro Man, taking a slog of bourbon. "So she's just come off two bad experiences, right? First this Hal guy gains superpowers and turns into obsessed stalker from hell. Then she finds out this guy she really likes is actually her archenemy, and he's a little bit…" Metro Man tried to choose his words carefully. "Well, you didn't go about it the right way."

"I really had no idea it would go where it went. Or that I would want it to-"

"Fine, fine, fine, you lost points on that one."

"Arguably."

"But she's at least talking to you, and I think there might still be a little something there. But before I help you," he said, standing up and shortly standing over Megamind in his chair, hulking over him. "Just make sure we understand that if you hurt her I _will_ come out of retirement to crush your head on the pavement."

Megamind's eyes darted from the big, meaty finger in front of his nose bridge to the hulk to whom it belonged. "Understood," he squeaked. "Why is it always my head and the pavement? It's because it's big, isn't it?"

"Roxanne's a good kid. She's not had it that easy."

"It's discrimination- she hasn't?" his tone changed, now contrite. "Because of me?"

"From what I gathered, you were not a huge concern for her. And you either make her life better, or get out of it. We clear?"

"That was absolutely my intention!" declared Megamind. "I sense that I may have, in the past, proved some detriment to her life. I want to do the opposite," he said, sincere. "And because I do… _lyove_ her so deeply I want what's best for her, even if the best thing isn't necessarily me.

Metro Man studied his eyes for a moment before heading back to his chair. "Alright," said Metro Man, seemingly convinced. "Then you remember that Hal kid?"

"Yes?"

"How did he take rejection?"

"I believe he tried to kill her."

"And based on what I've heard of his personality… yes. I think _you_ just need to be the opposite of Hal."

"I, on the other hand, handled rejection quite gracefully, I thought."

"Focus, bro."

"Yes, yes, continue. The opposite of Hal."

"I knew that kid, even before he got Tighten-ized. He was pushy, awkward, self-centered- ap!" He stopped Megamind before he got a chance to start talking over him. "You have got to learn to listen!"

"I listen."

"No, you don't, you were about to congratulate yourself on something that probably wasn't deserved."

Megamind opened his mouth to retort, but stopped, realizing that he was about to do just that. "Very well, I came to listen, so I will listen."

"Anyway, the opposite of Hal. You need to be _confident_!"

"I am quite confident!"

"No, you are arrogant. There is a big difference. No woman of Roxanne's caliber was ever attracted to arrogance."

Megamind slyly took out a notepad and began scribbling down notes. "You make some sense. Continue."

"And remember this one; I cannot stress how often beginners mess up on this point, so this is important."

"Yes?"

"Don't make yourself too available."

Megamind pondered for a moment. "You mean, play hard to get."

"No, not that! Do _not_ play mind games with her. She'll see right through them. What I mean is, you giving the impression that you want her in your life, but your life does not revolve around her."

"Ah, I see!" he said, scribbling furiously.

"Love, at this stage, it's like a fabulous dessert. A few tastes are wonderful, but if you eat too much you'll get sick of it. It's like playing to an audience, you have to _always_ leave them wanting more."

Megamind continued scribbling. "Leave them wanting more."

"Don't overstay your welcome."

"So when I get back to her apartment I should leave? I probably _should_ leave, I have plenty to do today."

Metro Man arched an eyebrow. "She let you stay with her last night?"

"She let me sleep on her floor."

"She didn't even give you the couch?"

"Who would sleep on a couch?"

Metro Man processed this for a moment before ignoring it and moving on.

"I told Minion I went out for a coffee run."

"You went _on_ a coffee run. And… no, this is good. She trusts you. Good." He turned around, his face austere, two fingers to his eyes, which then turned on Megamind, pointing at him. _I'm watching you._

"I won't let you down. Rather, I won't let _her_ down."

"I believe your intentions are pure, really. It's your habits I'm worried about."

"Yes, I know," he said. "I went by a Burger King this morning and had to resist the urge to steal all of the complimentary ketchup."

"Why would you even-"

"I have used Heinz brand ketchup as a blood substitute in the past. Very effective! From a distance, at any rate."

Metro Man massaged his temple. "Look, I can give you all the advice you want, but what it really boils down to is what _she_ wants, and I _cannot_ stress this enough: you just need to listen to her."

"Understood, my…" he paused for a moment, choosing his words carefully. "Ally. Colleague. Ally."

And so, over the following days and weeks, he followed his ally's advice. He didn't push Roxanne, which she appreciated, seeming to enjoy his company when he was present. He made himself available, but didn't push himself on her, nor did he ask her to make plans with him that would take more than a few hours of her time, nor did he demand any kind of confirmation or label on what their relationship was. He very consciously tried to keep it small, gift wise, sensing that anything large or garish might put her off. He kept it more to favors, granting her interviews in which he conducted himself professionally (for him, anyway), getting her coffee and occasionally dinner, as well as the occasional bouquet of flowers with strange metaphors on the card ("Your hair has more of the delightful depth and hue than a brown swatch from the Home Depot. Yours - MM") Roxanne seemed particularly surprised that he wasn't demanding anything in return.

"I have much to atone for," he said to her once when she brought it up, bringing her some flowers and fresh Ethiopian coffee before she went to work one morning. "But moreover, I think it makes you happy, and I love seeing you smile."

He secretly congratulated himself when she blushed, looked away and brushed her hair out of her face. That meant she _liked_ it, and was maybe even a bit _aroused. Muahahaha!_

He reached over her table and put a hand on hers, kissed her on the cheek, and leaned his forehead to hers as he always did. He didn't think it unusual; it felt perfectly natural to him, and he felt closest to her when his head was touching hers.

But the night on the couch was the furthest he'd gotten with her, holding her closely, he felt similar to the way he used to feel on the verge of some scientific breakthrough, but deeper, more meaningful. He wasn't sure how, but he could _feel_ her, as well, feel her calm, her affection, her uniqueness. Something told him that she would like it if he stroked the back of her neck, and he did so, making her purr and melt into him even a little more.

And then it came up, like bile, out of his control. As it was spewing out, he begged his subconscious, _please_, not an evil laugh, tempting though it might have been. That would be most inappropriate in a moment such as this. But it wasn't an evil laugh, instead it was a soft, "I love you."

It took a moment for him to realize he'd said it. When he did, his eyes shot open, darting around the room as though he was waiting for it to shatter like glass. It didn't, but she wasn't responding, either. _Don't panic_, he told himself. _Perhaps a bit premature to drop that bomb, but no new information to her._

After a moment she backed away from him, but not in disgust. She seemed calm still, and was smiling. "I know," she said.

Megamind felt like he'd been holding his breath, and then released it, pulling her back into an embrace. She'd accepted it. Maybe one day, she might even reciprocate it! Things were going well indeed, he mused. _All according to plan. Muahahahaha. Muahahahaha! MUAHAHAHA!_

"Do you need to do the evil laugh right now?" Roxanne mumbled.

Megamind gasped, and then jerked away from her, stunned.

"What?" asked Roxanne, worried.

"I wasn't doing an evil laugh," he said, eyes like saucers.

"Yes, you were," said Roxanne slowly.

"No, I was _thinking_ it, but I was not _saying _it."

The two stared at each other, a little frightened of each other as they began to realize the implications of what he was saying. Then Megamind reached over to her, holding her by her face and brought her head next to his. "Close your eyes," he instructed. "Do you see anything?"

Roxanne reached for a moment, stammering some half-words before finally saying, "Pineapple?"

"_Ha!_" Megamind nearly shrieked, standing up dramatically. "This is _incredible!_"

"Is it?" asked Roxanne, timid.

He sat down and pulled her head to hers again. "Now what? Now what?"

"Um… ah… donut?"

"Yes!" he cried. "Roxanne, do you realize what this means?"

"You think about food a lot?"

"I… we… _we_ share a telepathic link!"

Roxanne's mouth hung open. "We…. Oh."

"I had no idea! I had _no_ idea I had this ability!" He stood up and began pacing. "There are vast parts of my brain that I had mapped but had not yet identified the purpose of! This must be _it!" _He turned to her. "My people, my _species_, has telepathic abilities! Mine simply must be limited, crude, not honed, because of lack of contact with them! And _you_!" He sat down again, taking her hands. "You were the one who unlocked them."

Roxanne laughed nervously. "Yeah, I guess I was, wasn't I?"

"We must study this more; is it exclusive to skin on skin contact, or can it be honed to be done over a distance? How receptive are humans to it, at any rate? Or perhaps…" He looked at Roxanne, kissing her hands. "This is _wonderful! _Doesn't it feel just… natural?"

"For you, maybe. For me, I'm not going to lie, it's a little scary."

Megamind was so thrilled with the prospect of telepathy, however limited it might have been, he hadn't realized how worried Roxanne was. "My dear," he said, "I promise you, I had no idea I had this ability!"

"Oh, I believe you!" she assured him. "If you had known, you'd have used it to take over the city. I believe you."

Megamind looked a little hurt. Roxanne sighed. "You really are sensitive, you know that?" she stammered with a half-chuckle. "I mean, you know that's true, though. Ah… listen." She held his hand, but didn't look into his face. "This is… a bit much. I don't know what to do with it. I understand that it feels great to you because it's natural to you, it's instinctive, but it isn't for me."

Megamind was crestfallen. Had he been wearing his old cape with the flaring neck, it might have deflated a little. "I apologize, I was a bit overzealous, wasn't I?"

"It's not that!" she said, standing up and massaging her temple. "It's just…" He stood up behind her, placing his hands on her shoulders. "I won't lie; it scares me. It's like there are no boundaries, and I can't protect my mind should the need arise. I'm sorry, that's just how it feels."

"I know; I can feel it."

Roxanne took a deep breath. "And that scares me, too."

Megamind quickly decided that he should leave before she made any decisions that she (or rather, he) might regret. "Well, perhaps I should leave you to your thoughts," he said. He moved to pick up his white cape, and then took her hand, kissing it carefully, afraid she might snatch it away. "Roxanne, I know I haven't the best track record, but my hope is that someday you won't feel like you need to protect yourself from me."

Roxanne took a deep breath, started to speak a few times, before finally taking her hand back, crossing her arms, and saying, "I hope so, too. Really, I do."

With that, he kissed her on the head, and left. After the door shut, Roxanne didn't move for a long time.


	3. Chapter 3

Unsubtle 30 Rock ref: Homage, or rip-off? You decide.

* * *

"I want to thank you for participating in our study," said the man. Dr. Something, Leonard couldn't remember what.

"Sure thing, dude," said Leo, handing the consent form back to the doctor, who took it with grim satisfaction. The thing had been pages and pages long; of course he hadn't read it all. He had hardly even noticed how austere and unused the doctor's office was, in a little mostly abandoned building just outside the downtown area.

"Now," said the doctor, handing Leo a little paper cup with a white pill in it and a small bottle of water. "Take the pill and we will begin the exercise."

Leo did so, as the doctor turned off all of the lights except for the little lamp on the table by which he was sitting. "How do you feel?" asked the doctor.

Leo shrugged. "I feel fine. A little weird, I guess. What's your name again?"

"Uh, Spaceman. Dr. Spaceman," replied the doctor, pronouncing his surname "spe-chay-man." "Now, close your eyes, try to clear your mind."

Leo did so, closing his eyes and hoping to get this done, get his fifty bucks and get out of there as quickly as possible.

"Tell me what you see and feel," said Doctor Spaceman.

Leo concentrated for a moment, before announcing, "I see nothing, and I feel hungry."

"Alright." Leo jumped in surprise when Dr. Spaceman grabbed the sides of his face and pulled their heads together.

"Um, this is kinda weird," said Leo, deeply uncomfortable.

"Quiet! Cooperate, or I won't pay you."

"Okay, okay."

Dr. Spaceman donned his air of seriousness, despite the fact that their faces were really uncomfortably close. "What do you see and feel?"

Leo concentrated, _really really _hard. "A bear," he finally announced.

Dr. Spaceman huffed a little bit. "Try again."

Leo concentrated, and after an elongated pause, said, "Batman."

"Batman? Your answer is Batman?"

"You asked me what I see, and what I see is Batman."

"One more time. Clear your mind of all black-flying-mammal men and tell me what you see."

Leo was silent for a moment, seemingly going into the deepest reaches of his psyche, before coming out with, "Batman fighting a bear."

"_Dohhh_!" Dr. Spaceman snarled, standing up in frustration. "Get out!"

"Am I not going to get paid? That was pretty weird, doc."

The doctor threw a fifty-dollar bill on the table. "Take it. Now, _out!_"

Growling, he followed Leo out into the waiting room, looking at the dozen or so other people who were waiting to participate in the same study. "You're all dismissed!" He bellowed. "Your time has been wasted. Good-bye!" With that he slammed the door.

By this time Megamind's car had been fixed for a while. When some of the study participants, now outside, saw him storm out of the building, muttering angry nothings to himself, entering his invisible car and then slamming the door, they quickly put two and two together as to who had been running that study that had been advertised on boards by the college campus. Leo, not realizing that the pill Megamind had given him was nothing but a placebo, started to panic and tried to vomit in the bushes.

Megamind's bitter, confused mood hadn't calmed much by the time he got back home. He was at a complete loss for why, logically, the telepathic link worked _only_ for Roxanne. Even a brief experiment with Minion proved fruitless. The moment he threw his briefcase down, his eyes floated to his little cell phone, sitting innocently on one of his work tables, taunting him, _call her! Call her, Megamind! Just one little phone call won't hurt!_

As though seized by some otherworldly entity, his hand went, of its own volition towards the phone, and would have grabbed it had a large metallic ape-like hand not grabbed it first. "Just following orders, sir!" said Minion.

"I was just… going to order… Chinese!"

"I'd be happy to do that for you, sir."

Megamind sighed, relaxing. "Yes, of course. And thank you for your vigilance. I almost broke there. If she wants to wait an eternity before contact, very well! How long has it been?"

"About a… day and a half."

"Only-_ dyahhh_! I need to… disintegrate something!"

"There are always the alligators, sir."

"_Yes! _Flesh-chompy ungrateful beasts! We won't need them anymore… though then again, you never know. No- This is so frustrating!"

"You did tell me not to let you call her."

"I know, commendable job, thank you."

"It is my sole purpose in life," said the fish.

Megamind turned to Minion. "You seem… bitter."

Minion was a little bit startled. Megamind had never, _ever_ picked up on his bitterness before. Minion didn't know where to go with that; half of all his little comments came with some bitter, underappreciated undertone. "Well, I didn't _mean_ for it to come off as bitter."

Megamind marched away for a moment. "I'm not sure how to describe what it is I'm feeling," he said, flopping down into his big, black spikey chair. "I think it must be guilt."

"You're feeling… guilty, sir?"

He spun around. "I do, I feel guilty."

"To your credit, sir, the problem with Roxanne wasn't your fault. You didn't know you could do that."

"No it's not Roxanne, it's you," he said, a look of realization creeping over his face. "I make you feel inadequate and unappreciated, don't I?"

Minion was completely aghast, his eyes tiny brown dots in big fish eyes. "I… ah… perhaps, on occasion."

"And you stuck with me the whole time and never once punished me for it."

Minion couldn't gather words together; he was far too surprised, his snaggle-toothed jaw just hung. Megamind spun back around, away from him.

"I don't know why I never picked up on that."

Minion was so overwhelmed by this sudden change, he started to stumble out of the room. "I've actually just joined a chess club, so I've got a meeting here in a bit, so I'm going to run, okay? I'll see you later, boss!" Megamind heard the clank-clank of his ape-like feet run out of the room. Spinning the chair around, he realized that Minion had left the phone.

And it stood him down, like a giant black and slightly less black obelisk.

Again, taunting him.

He approached the phone, whispers from the past emanating from it. _One little call!_ It beseeched. _One little call to end your miserable state of limbo!_

"No!" he bellowed at the phone. "_For I am stronger than you, phone of the cell!"_ He swished his cape as he turned, opening up a curtain that hid a massive idea board. A large portion contained a large, ornate diagram dedicated to the different attributes, attitudes, phrases, etc. that separated "arrogant" and "confident". But what he was more focused on were his arsenal of potential "love" phrases that he could use on Roxanne in the event that he wanted to send flowers or some other trivial gift. "Your eyes remind me of the sky on a day when it's not that polluted"- no. "You're better than twinkies" – _hell_ no. He had dozens of them, each one more awkward than the last. Part of the problem, he was realizing, was that he didn't have much of a poetic flair, especially when it came to romance, but moreover that none of these were very sincere. They were odd little comparisons to parts of her body, her hair, her eyes, all of which were lovely, granted, but weren't really addressing what he needed to say, and what she needed to hear. Problem was, he didn't know what either of those things were. What _did_ she need to hear?

"I would never invade your privacy too much." –no. "Now I know for sure that you really are the smartest person I know!" –no. "You have the best brain of anyone I know, and I want a piece of dat." –_eesh_, no. That sounded like he had a dissection in mind. A gangsta one. At first he hadn't understood why she had been so put off, but he was beginning to now. To him it seemed so natural, but that must have had to do with some deep-seated instinct. She was human, and humans didn't operate like this. Moreover, he didn't know the extent of his telepathy. Might he one day develop the ability to delve into her deepest, darkest secrets against her wishes, and without her knowledge? Or was it really just able to impart emotions, and very simple thoughts like "pineapple" and "donut"?

He froze with some horror on that thought, one he hadn't really considered. If he might one day develop the ability to probe her thoughts and memories, then the reverse might be true. What if she got into some of his more sinister pockets of memory, the things he used to take joy in? He really did enjoy kidnapping people, and the reason for that was that sense of power he had over her. Roxanne had eventually grown weary of Megamind kidnapping her, because she realized that he was harmless. But the _first_ time? She had no way of knowing that.

He remembered that first time very well, probably because of the sheer amount of enjoyment he took from it. He had snatched her from a studio luncheon- she had a different haircut then, a short bob, and she had been seen chatting it up with Metro Man, and gossip around town pointed to the potential that the two of them might have something going on. That made her a perfect hostage for him to use as a shield when he implemented his mechanical snake plan.

The first time Minion pulled the bag off her head, standing dark in the background _like he was supposed to _before getting all friendly with her and divulging secrets, she had been genuinely terrified. Megamind had kidnapped people before, but never helpless damsels, and certainly not like this. She was disheveled, terrified, younger, helpless and not about to talk back to him the way she did when she got older, more hip to his modus operandi. And he _loved it._

He hadn't planned to toy with her the way he did, but he couldn't really help it! Megamind had been motivated completely by a love of holding power over others, and he had never experienced such an intimate type of domination before. She hadn't been screaming. She had _never_ screamed without provocation, not once in the dozens of kidnappings, and she wasn't screaming now, but she was on the verge of tears. Megamind certainly didn't intend to kill her, but she didn't know that.

"Why, Miss Ritchi," he'd said in his boomingest bad guy voice. "You seem so sad! Surely you're not worried."

"What-" she stammered.

"With your boyfriend the big strong hero that he is, surely you have nothing to worry about!"

"He- Metro Man? Oh, that, I've heard that too!" she chortled nervously. "He's not my boyfriend."

"Ah," said Megamind, getting up from his big spinny chair and approaching her. "I thought you might say as much." He loomed over her, and she leaned back away from him. He was _really_ enjoying this.

"You really do have a big head!" she blurted. "I'm amazed your center of gravity is as… small… that is… I shouldn't have said that."

"Indeed," he said, bringing himself even closer. "And incidentally, you have a big head, too. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"Yes," she breathed. He was way too uncomfortably close. "What do you need me for?"

"A shield, of sorts," he said. "After my evil plan is implemented, I will have no use for you, if you catch my meaning."

Roxanne gasped, terrified. At that point, he dropped the banter, started laughing maniacally, called Metro Man, and that one time Roxie really was panicking.

During each subsequent kidnapping, Megamind's treatment of her changed little. He always treated it like it was the first time. Roxanne, on the other hand, grew wise to him, and quickly stopped playing along. It wasn't that she denied him as a threat to the greater good, but when it came to his treatment of her, it seemed like all of it, supervillainy, was just a game to him, because in all of roughly thirty-some kidnappings, never once did he harm a hair on her head.

Megamind was hugging one of his brain bots very tightly, seeing as a pillow was nowhere to be found. He found it difficult to reconcile the fact that the woman he had once took such great pleasure in torturing psychologically and the girl who not only turned his innards into lovey-dovey mush, but had unlocked some latent telepathic ability were the same person. He hugged the poor brain bot even tighter, biting his lip in a bite of self-pity. Maybe this telepathy thing wasn't such a great discovery. If she ever happened upon that memory, the satisfying _emotion_ attached to it at the time, how good it made him feel to have that kind of control over her, to terrify her? How could she get past it? He wasn't sure he could.

And all of this didn't even include the emotions _she_ had felt. All of the hate and bile she must have had for him in the past. How might the memory of that affect him? The two of them shared _far_ more bad memories than good. If he got some real idea of the hatred she once held for him, he didn't know if he could stand it.

Now, he was beginning to understand Roxanne's hesitation.

The brain bot in his arms squeaked out, begging for mercy. Megamind let it go, not realizing how hard he had been squeezing it. "Sorry! Sorry, go about your business."

Then the ring of his cell phone echoed out into the large, empty chamber, causing him to shriek in surprise. Megamind approached the phone, skeptical, until he saw Roxanne's name on the screen. "Roxanne!" he belted before the phone had completely finished flipping open.

"Heyyy, you!" she said. He felt like if she had been there, she'd have given him a friendly shoulder-punch.

"Roxanne!" he said again, trying to restrain his simultaneous glee and panic. "I am so glad to hear from you!"

"Just wanted to give you a call, let you know what's going on; I didn't want to leave you hanging."

"Oh, it isn't like I haven't left you hanging a time or two. Remember the snake pit?" He laughed nervously. "Oh, I… I shouldn't be bringing that up, should I?"

"Well, to be fair, the worst thing about it was the rope burns."

"Roxie, listen, I'm trying to do research onto this little phenomenon, and I want you to know that I don't know much more about it than you do at this point, but I want to assure you-"

"No, listen, it's not that," she said. "I mean, it's not _completely_ that. _That_, in theory, in fairy tale land, I'm sure that could work out fine, but it does complicate things."

"Agreed," he said, without hesitation.

"But I thought about it and thought about it, and what it comes down to, because I shouldn't be _afraid _of this if it was with someone I… um… you know…."

"Trusted?" Megamind finished the sentence for her.

"A strong word, maybe, but yeah, that's... that's just about the thrust of it."

He plopped himself down on the cold floor, wishing that there was a brainbot for him to hug. "I understand. You're making perfect sense."

"Oh, the sad voice!" Roxanne whined. "I knew you'd use the sad voice."

"Well, it isn't as though this wasn't something I hadn't considered, as well," he admitted. "You and I, we have… I believe the term is… luggage."

Roxanne sighed. "It's called baggage, Megamind," she said. "And you're right, we do have a lot of baggage. I think, before this whole… potential telepathy thing came up, we could sidestep it, but with this new little… element in the mix, here, we _can't_ sidestep it."

"I agree," he said, voice devoid of life.

"And the instinct to sidestep it, truth is, I think that's unhealthy anyway. Maybe it's good that we're forced to get this out in the open."

Megamind breathed steadily, feeling like his heart was being crushed on all sides by cinderblocks. For once in his verbose life, he was at a loss for words.

"Listen," she said. "I'm going to go upstate for a couple of days, visit my mom, clear my head. That is my evil plan. When I get back, if you want, we can talk, okay?"

He swallowed, his muscles tensed in every part of his body. "Roxanne," he said. "I… yes, we can talk then." _Roughly two eternities from now_.

"Ah, okay, good," she said. "Thank you for understanding."

"I… am glad to hear your voice," he said earnestly. "I missed it. Your voice, I mean. I missed your voice."

Roxanne paused. "That's sweet of you."

"And I miss your face," he said, but his whole body, including his voice, was devoid of life. "And I look forward to seeing you again."

Roxanne was quiet for a few moments. "Okay, I'll talk to you soon."

"Good-bye," he said. He held the phone open, to see if maybe she might not hang up, but she did, and promptly.

And then he was alone, sitting on his cold stone floor in his big empty room.


	4. Chapter 4

Megamind must have been lying in his cot for hours. Normally he would work for hours on end on some new invention or discovery; if his body needed it, he would collapse on the cot, sleep a few hours, and then bounce back to work. Never before had he used it as a place in which to languish. While he languished, he drew sticky notes with little broken hearts on them, and stuck them to the floor. The floor surrounding his cot was papered with broken-hearted sticky notes.

When he finally got up the nerve to look at the clock, he realized that only fifteen minutes had passed since he talked to Roxanne.

He groaned, wishing he had a pillow to bury his face in, and then the phone rang. He toppled gloriously into the floor, scrambling towards the phone, tore open the mouthpiece and cried, "Roxanne!"

"Mmm, nope," said a male voice. "Close, but nope."

"Ah, Chief Manly!" said Megamind, not even feigning happiness to hear the police chief. "How may I pleasure you?"

There was a pause on the line, and Megamind got the impression that he might have said something inappropriate. "Listen, I'm not going to mince words," he said. "I have a proposition for you if you want to work off some more of your life sentences."

Megamind perked up. "Go on."

"But I need you downtown immediately, on the corner of Madison and Lex," he said. "Bring anything you have that you might use for infiltration."

Megamind was intrigued, glad to have something concrete to do to take his mind off Roxanne. "I will be there shortly."

* * *

"Rob Neilson worked for this company for eleven years," said Chief Manly, handing Megamind headshots of the suspect that was holding six people hostage on top of one of the more box-like downtown buildings. "Got laid off, snapped, and decided he wants the whole company to go down and he needs several million dollars before it does. Took seven hostages at first." He pointed up to the top of the building, where a few spotlights were fixed. Megamind found it somewhat difficult to concentrate, with all of the policemen surrounding him keeping one eye on _him_ rather than at the situation at hand. Old habits.

But just for kicks, on this occasion, the first time the police chief had called him down for some crime-stopping related favor, he decided to wear Metro Man's big old fluffy cape. The big spikey neck-flared look didn't fit the moment.

"He's already sent one down," said the chief. "That is, a body, out the window. That's when we called you; we don't want _any_ more bodies."

"Eesh, that's not very sporting of him," said Megamind.

"So our deal is- one life, one life sentence. You save all six hostages, you lose six life sentences. This is the deal," said Chief Manly. "But it's all or nothing, do you understand?"

"Come again?" he said, still surveying the structure.

"You save all of them, you get your life sentences off. If even one of them dies, the deal's off. Got it?"

"Save all six hostages, and deliver the criminal to you," he steepled his fingers together, smirking as he looked up toward the top of the building. "Well, this might prove an entertaining little diversion."

"Try to bring Neilson to us alive. And do _not_ let him throw any more body parts down at us as threats!"

Megamind's face contorted in disgust as he processed what the police chief had said. He turned around to confront the police chief on this point, but just as he did so, Nielson appeared at the window again, this time with a crying female hostage attached to a pully system.

"You even think about sniping me!" he cried, "I'm the one holding onto the rope here. I get shot, I let go of the rope, she gets dropped forty stories onto pavement!"

Megamind whipped out his dehydration gun and prepared to dehydrate the hostage, allowing her to fall to the ground safely as a light little cube, but realized if he did that, Nielson would know that he was there, which would jeopardize the other five people. Instead, he put the gun away, deciding to infiltrate.

Megamind wasn't familiar with this building in particular, but he was very familiar with where security cameras _usually_ fell. If Nielson had half a brain, he had locked himself in a room with security surveillance. Ergo, a stairwell wasn't the optimal method to reach the top of the building, but a window on the other side of the building just might be.

He chose a spot in near the dead center of the building to begin his ascent, taking off the big white cape so his darker undergarments wouldn't draw attention. The spider-foot was something he'd devised for just this use; scaling big, flat walls with little friction. Applying a foot to each finger, and two matching devices to his shoes, he climbed the wall like an insect, the mechanical aspects of it able to boost his speed so that he was able to do it much more quickly than he could with his normal strength and stamina.

Once he got to the window he desired, he used a device he created to cut holes just big enough for his head to fit through and slither inside, snake like. This room seemed to be a conference room on the other side of the building. Wary of the possibility of security cameras weaving through the hallways he'd need to go through, he opted instead to crawl through the ventilation ducts.

He knew he was almost to his target when he started hearing the desperate, pained ranting of the culprit. Megamind cracked open a pack attached to his belt, releasing about half a dozen surveillance roaches, tiny recon bots that bore a strong resemblance to the common household vermin. He put on his goggles to monitor the information the roaches beamed back, and let the little guys go to work.

Neilson had holed up in a room that looked to be building operations, and it did indeed include security camera surveillance. Megamind's goal, ideally, was to find a suitable place from the ventilation ducts where he could simply zap the guy into a dehydrated little cube, thereby simply and efficiently saving the day and paying off part of his debt. The roaches quickly told him, however, that Neilson was still actively holding on to the rope that held the one hostage aloft forty stories above the pavement that had already claimed one night that evening. If he dehydrated him, it would be at the cost of one hostage's life; no dice.

There were four people on the floor, tied up against the wall, and one on the table. From the way Neilson was ranting at the man on the table, he seemed to be the guy's former employer. Megamind found this unremarkable; it made sense to rebel against one's superiors (Megamind had always done so growing up), until he realized that Neilson had cut off three of the man's fingers, and one of his _ears!_ Megamind had to fight a disgusted noise coming from his throat and giving him away. He had _never_ tortured anyone like that. He had always been far too squeamish to even consider it.

He needed to move fast. Shooting him from a distance was out of the question; he needed to get _into_ the room, and close enough to the guy that he would be able to grab the rope holding the female hostage, _then_ dehydrate him. In order to do that, he would need to physically be in the room, but he fortunately had his hologram watch, and there were four other perfectly good bodies there for him to impersonate.

On of them, a Swiss immigrant named Lukas, wasn't happy with how the company treated its employees, either; Neilson was certainly not the first who had gotten fired for no reason (the company had cited "tardiness") when in truth they were laying people off systematically in order to eventually outsource this part of the company. But he'd had no idea how desperate Neilson's situation had been: Neilson's mother recently dead, him now the only person to care for his sister, who desperately needed a new kidney. It was no wonder he had snapped, but Lukas felt nothing for him, given that he had already killed one of his co-workers in his bid for the police to take him seriously and give him the ransom he wanted. He was hardly listening to Neilson scream at his former boss, Mr. Fincher. He still in a stupefied reverie, replaying the memory of Neilson pushing Carl, a mail room worker, to his death when he glanced a large-headed, blue-skinned entity smirking at him with sinister purpose from behind a cabinet. The rational part of him was terrified to see _the_ Megamind not two feet away from him, doing some sort of scanning thing with his watch, but he resisted the urge to squeak. The moment Neilson's back was turned, Megamind grabbed him, threw him next to the cabinet behind which he'd been hiding, and then took his place, now identical to him.

Megamind kept a keen eye on Neilson's hand, which was holding the rope. "Do you even see your little underlings as human?" he demanded of the man on the table. "_Do you?"_ Megamind was starting to devise a plan in order to get Neilson's attention, so that he might approach him and he could enact his rope-grabbing/dehydration plan. But before he could think to do so, Neilson had picked up a pair of pliers, and was starting to cut off Fincher's index finger. Fincher positively _howeled_ in pain and terror, and Megamind, without even thinking, drew out his gun and fired it at Neilson, dehydrating him into a little cube before he could cut off another finger. The rope fell, and so did the girl, her terrified scream becoming distant as she fell.

Megamind scrambled towards the window, knowing that at a height of 560 feet, she had approximately 6.1 seconds before she was dead on the pavement. He slid to the window, firing his dehydrating gun aimlessly, desperately. He fired it so many times, he couldn't even gauge if there had been a sickening thud, but the ground below was too dark to see.

He stood up, hearing frightened muffled voices behind him. He ran over to the man on the table, silently kicking himself. He might have _lost_ that hostage, in which case, all this work for _nothing!_ He pulled the gag off the man on the table, looking at his poor hand, still bound behind him. It was missing a pinky, a ring finger and the middle. _Something_ about the man's circumstance had made Megamind act rashly, without thinking.

"Lukas!" cried Mr. Fincher. "How did you-"

"Oh, right," said Megamind, switching off his watch just as the real Lukas fell out from behind the cabinet, landing on his face as his hands were still bound. Fincher didn't move or speak, frozen in surprise to behold the terrifying supervillain (ex-supervillain?) as his apparent savior. Megamind sensed the man's emotion instantly; fear, skepticism, as though he was begging Megamind, "Why have you done this? What do you want from us?"

_How am I able to sense these people's emotions?_

"Alright," said Megamind, pulling out his dehydration gun and pointing it at the man.

"_Please,_ no!" he cried, deeply traumatized from what he'd just experienced. "Please, let us go!"

"No, no, see, this is my dehydration gun. It basically just freezes you in time and turns you into a convenient travel-sized little cube." He paused for a moment to think. "So I'm going to give you a choice; I know a thing or two about stemming blood loss, and you are bleeding pretty badly, but I think it would be… less taxing on you if I just dehydrate you and then _rehydrate_ you once you're inside the ambulance. Doesn't that sound fun?"

The man was terrified, his eyes and face still wet with tears. "Please don't shoot me!" he begged. "Please don't shoot me!"

"Alright," he said, intuiting that not only would the man not have trusted him on a good day, but that he was deeply in shock and in a lot of pain. He needed help of some kind, which Megamind was at a complete loss for what it might be. _Shock_, how do you help someone who was in shock? What would Metro Man have done?

He picked up a jacket on the ground and started ripping it to shreds. Before wrapping up the gaping holes in the man's hand, he placed a numbing agent on it, something Minion always made sure he carried with him should he have any scrapes or bruises he'd need to ignore until the end of a battle. "Please don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not going to remove the bindings on your hand. They're stemming the blood flow quite effectively, actually."

He moved to remove the bindings on the other four, but stopped before he did so spying their still-terrified expressions. _All_ of them were crying. Megamind was a little impressed by Neilson; he had never been able to instill terror in people like this! But then again, for him, hostages were always a means to an end; he took no joy in hurting people. "Let me be perfectly clear," he said, enunciating his words. "I am here to _rescue_ you. Do you understand?"

Two of them looked at each other, confused, but then turned back to him and nodded. Megamind quickly evaporated all of their bonds. One of the two women broke down into heaving sobs. "Suzanne!" she wept. Megamind assumed she was referring to the hostage who had fallen victim to gravity. He stood there dumbly, confused as to what was going on in his own body. Just like with Minion earlier that day, he was able to intuit what their emotions were. He could sense their terror, shock, even grief, but he had _no_ idea what to do or say about any of it. Hell, simply by his awesomely horrifying presence, he was making it _worse!_ They weren't glad to see him, they were afraid of him!

_What would Metro Man do?_

"_Neilson!"_ cried out a voice. It was Chief Manly from a loudspeaker below.

"Oh, right," whispered Megamind as he stumbled towards the door. "It's all right!" he cried out into the dozens of flashing lights below. "The ah… suspect has been… neutralized! And we're all coming down now, so it's okay!"

He saw a small swell of dark figures start to enter the building; police, he assumed. He came back toward Fincher; he was a somewhat hefty man, but nothing Megamind couldn't handle, hoisting him up and starting to carry him out. The other four stared at him with their big, wet eyes. "Well, shall we?" he said hopefully.

They still stared at him, stunned.

"Listen, I can only carry one of you. Come on, those ambulances aren't going to… ambule themselves, are they?"

The elevator ride down was, for the most part, torturous.

It was a newer building, so Megamind didn't understand why the elevator was so slow, and moreover his muscles were starting to strain from the weight of this guy, who at the very least had stopped whimpering. Finally, one of the hostages, the one who had wept for "Suzanne", addressed the elephant in the elevator: "Why did you do this?"

Megamind paused, wondering if this was a trick question. "Because."

When the elevator opened, they were greeted by a good-sized SWAT team, guns pointed at all of them. That didn't help matters as the already traumatized hostages fell back. Megamind scowled at them. "I need an ambulance. Several, actually, if you please!"

Chief Manly caught a glimpse of Megamind settling Fincher down onto a gurney with the help of several paramedics, after which he shook out his arms from the strain of holding such a big guy for so long. He approached Megamind, holding out his hand to him. "Commendable job," he said.

Megamind eyed the man's hand; he had some idea of what a handshake entailed, but he'd never actually engaged in one before. He grabbed Manly's hand and jerked it.

"I talked to the DA; we recognize that even with one loss you still did a better job than we might have; for the five lives, we'll give you one life sentence."

"Five- oh! She didn't make it?"

"The one who fell? How could she?"

"Was there a body?"

"It hasn't been recovered-"

Megamind dashed away, spying the window from above and doing quick physics calculations in his head. "I need a bottle of water!" he cried, perusing the ground carefully, like a dog. "Bottle of water, please- a ha!" Sure enough, there was a little blue cube that had refracted off into the nearby bushes. He picked it up, chortling triumphantly. "There you are!" He arched a sly eyebrow at Chief Manly as he trotted up towards him. A lieutenant handed Megamind a bottle of water. "_Six_ life sentences!" he announced, pouring water on the cube and standing back as it popped back into human form.

And it was _screaming!_

"Ah!" cried Megamind, quickly crouching next to her. Had something gone wrong with the rehydration process?

"Oh God, oh God!" cried the girl. She was younger, mousey even, with big hips and a freckled nose. "How… _how?"_

"_I _saved you!" volunteered Megamind hopefully.

"I was falling," she cried, half mumbled, "I was falling, I was going down, I was going to die, _I was going to die! How?"_ She registered the hopeful, even a little proud face next to her. "_You_ saved me? _Why?_"

She, like the others, was afraid of him, as though waiting for him to pull out some nefarious condition attached to saving her life. He tried to soften his expression to appear more harmless. "Because… it was my duty?"

The girl was shaking violently. Her state of shock, having come so terrifyingly close to her own death, was far worse than any of the others. She laid down on the pavement. Megamind looked around for some pointers, and then patted her on the shoulder. "There, there."

Chief Manly smiled ever so slightly. "Six life sentences," he said. "A deal's a deal. And let's get an ambulance for this girl!"

"No!" The girl shot up. "No, please!" she begged. "I don't have insurance, I can't afford that!"

Chief Manly started to walk away. "This is important; you can worry about that later."

"_No_!" she begged. She turned to Megamind as soon as Manly was out of earshot. "Look, I'm on the verge of financial ruin as it is; if they take me to the hospital, I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't have any way to pay for it."

Megamind was a little dumbstruck. "You have to _pay_ to go to the hospital?"

The girl looked at him for a moment, waiting to see if he was trying to make a bad joke, before deciding that he wasn't and nodding her head.

Megamind was overwhelmed. He could sense her, just like the others, and her fear of the ambulance was far greater than her fear of him. It was also genuine, and very, very confusing to Megamind. He was beginning to wonder what the limitations on this emotional-intuition power were, and if it would ever _stop_.

"Alright," he said, putting back on his white cape and pulling out his dehydration gun. "I'm only here to help."

He then zapped her, put her in his pocket, and then strode away from the scene, whistling innocently.


	5. Chapter 5

The barista was staring at him. Megamind looked at the boy's hands, his eyes as he carefully moved to get Megamind's change. "Here's your change," said the sandy-haired youth. His eyes didn't leave Megamind; his hands shook slightly as he counted out his change, doing it meticulously as though the alien would smite him if he got it incorrect.

Megamind leaned towards the boy, over the counter, eyeing him. The boy cowered a little bit. "Do you want a receipt, sir?"

"No," said Megamind, eyes still going up and down. "Why are you frightened of me?" he asked straight up.

The boy's eyes darted to his fellow employees, begging them for help. He received none. "Well, Mr. Megamind, sir, you were our evil overlord for a few months."

He looked around; the other coffee store patrons seemed to be looking at him in agreement. He looked at an older, pudgy man with a mustache and a Hawaiian shirt. _Thinly veiled disdain. _Next to him a woman with black rimmed glasses, who he assumed to be Hawaiian shirt's wife. _Apprehension._ Behind them a younger man, reading some books; probably a grad student. _Surprise and curiosity laced with anxiety._ Almost everyone in the coffee shop was quiet and staring at him, particularly that barista, who seemed to be making his peace with God. Only the smooth, generic jazz emanating from some obscure speaker broke the silence. He leaned back in towards the barista. "Well, I'm not your evil overlord anymore," he said, quietly so no one would hear.

"I know," squeaked the barista. "Thank you!"

Megamind sighed, took his scone and two tea lattes, and turned from the barista, who audibly sighed in relief. Megamind turned back to him, and the kid nearly jumped. Megamind came back, dug around in his spikey little wallet, and threw about fifteen cents into the tip jar. "There," he announced.

The barista's eyes darted between the nickel and dime and the alien, confused.

"I tipped you."

"Um, thank you very much, sir."

Megamind frowned. "I don't usually tip; is that adequate?"

The kid had started sweating on his forehead a little. Some were looking at Megamind like a bully, others at the kid like he was clearly overreacting. "I… uh…"

Megamind was starting to get irritated. "Look, I'm just asking a question. I'm not going to dehydrate you or disintegrate you; if it's not a good tip, tell me what would be!"

The kid almost yelped. "I- ah, let me get the manager!"

"Oh, just forget it!" he snapped. He took his purchases to the corner he'd already occupied with the girl he'd just rescued. He'd rehydrated her just outside the coffee shop, put his white cape over her shoulders (he'd seen that done in movies often enough; he figured it meant… something) and then went to get them warm, sweet liquids. When he came back to the table where he left her, he shoved a chai latte in her hand, his mind a thousand miles away. Being a part of society required society's cooperation, and society did _not_ like him. Maybe he _wasn't_ cut out to be a good guy; these people clearly didn't want him here, and this infernal ability he was developing, this ability to _intuit_ people's feelings was putting up quite the roadblock indeed. In the past, he had always assumed all emotional reaction to him was little more than cowering before his awesome awesomeness. But now, he was beginning to see how people around him were feeling, and it was a harsh wake-up call.

The girl was quiet, sipping her tea and watching him carefully. He seemed depressed, his expressive eyes focused on his cup. "This is so weird," she said at length, eyes glued to him like he might snap at any moment. "When I was a kid, I was so scared of you."

Megamind looked at her with a dull expression. "Oh."

She chuckled nervously. "Yeah, my mom would use you as a threat, say, if you don't clean your room, Megamind will get you! You know what Megamind does to children who don't eat their broccoli, he'll do _horrible_ experiments on your brain!"

Megamind blinked. "Flattering," he said at length.

The girl bit her lip, realizing she might have said the wrong thing. "I never thanked you, did I?" she asked.

"Hmm?" said Megamind, jerked out of his abyss of thought.

"I mean, first for saving my life, obviously, but then for getting me out of there so I wouldn't have to deal with the whole… hospital thing. I mean, I've never been rescued like that before, but it's very… um… kind of you to stay with me and, you know, make sure I'm functioning."

"Hmm, I suppose that is what I'm doing, isn't it?" said Megamind absently. "I've never had anyone _thank_ me for dehydrating them before."

"Yeah," she said, softly, still quite shaken. "I mean, it's cool if they offered you a deal to save us, but thanks for the chai and, you know, just staying with me for a little while. I- it helps. It does."

Her gratitude warmed him, and he felt the ice start to melt away. It hadn't occurred to him that he was going above and beyond the call of duty. It just struck him as the obvious thing to do. It would have been cruel to have just rehydrated her and send her on her way, alone, after having gone through such a traumatic experience. He carefully reached out to pat her on the shoulder. When she didn't shy away, he did so, and it felt _good_. A strange, calm sort of gratifying.

"Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever heard of Metro Man doing this for anyone he rescued," she said wistfully. "Usually he just rescued people and then went on his way."

Megamind sighed, thumbing the opening at the top of his cup. "Metro Man," he repeated.

"Is that a touchy subject?" she asked carefully.

"Oh, no," he said. "Yes. I'm not sure."

She looked behind him, at the anxious expressions of the people in the coffee shop. "You seem a little lost," she said. "I owe you my life, is there any way I could help?"

Megamind sighed. "I'm not sure. How do you designate yourself?"

"Come again?"

"Do you have a name?"

"Oh! Yeah, duh, I'm Suzanne. Suzi if we're being informal."

"_Soo_-zee," he echoed. "Say I did want to divulge something to you, in exchange for unbiased, objective feedback." He leaned in, intending to intimidate. "How do I know I can trust you?"

Suzi shrugged. "I… guess go with your instincts?"

"I don't have very trusting instincts," he said, sitting back and sipping his tea.

"Well, here's the thing," she said. "I know you don't know me, but _my_ instincts tell me you don't mean to hurt me, and the fact is you did save my life, and you did save the city, too, so in my book, you've built up more than enough credit to be able to tell someone something in confidence."

He eyed her skeptically. "If you do owe me your life, the only thing I ask is that you never repeat to _anyone_ what I am about to tell you."

"Of course," she replied eagerly.

"The information I am about to divulge may shock you, so I ask that you keep your calm," he said, bringing out his showman's bravado.

She looked worried, but also little excited. "Okay, I'll try."

"Over a course of the last few days, I have somehow developed the ability to intuit the emotions of others."

"Intuit, you mean like, you feel what other people feel?"

"Not quite," he said, "A few days ago, inadvertently and through no machinations of my own, I established a telepathic link with another individual _who shall remain quite nameless_. Through that link, I found myself able to transmit and share emotions and very simple thoughts, but only through this _one_ individual. But after that encounter, which I was unfortunately not able to repeat, I have found myself able to intuit the emotional state of people around me. In a way this is more nebulous, more _sinister_ than the telepathic link because it affects my actions in ways I cannot predict. Simply put, _I can tell how people are feeling!_"

Suzi's eyes were wandering, as though she was looking for a nice way to put something.

"You don't believe me," Megamind stated flatly.

"No, I believe you!" she offered. "We can do that, too," said the girl.

"What- _how?_ How can you be so blasé about that?"

"It's nothing special, it's just… empathy. All humans have it. Well, most humans. Sociopaths and pathological narcissists can't feel empathy, and I do remember reading some articles about how you had a debilitating case of a narcissistic personality disorder. I studied psych in college, hey, it finally paid off! But I've never heard of NPD or sociopathy spontaneously just… _curing_ itself."

"Em-path-y," he repeated, emphasizing the "path." "So it's like a _disease!"_ reasoned Megamind. "And she _gave _it to me through our telepathic link!"

"She?" asked Suzi.

"Ah… the nameless individual. Another quandary, as I have been trying to test out the telepathic link on others, but have only been successful in establishing it with this one individual."

Suzi was silent for a moment, thumbing the fluffy bit of Megamind's white cape. "So this telepathic thing probably has something to do with the fact that you're an alien, right?" asked Suzi.

"That is my hypothesis."

Suzi thought for a moment, chewing on her wooden stirring stick. "Can I ask you something personal?"

Megamind pursed his lips. "You may, but I can't guarantee that I will answer you."

"Um, what is your relationship to the person who 'gave' you empathy?"

"Hmm, let me just say, that if I had a Facebook page, the relationship status would read 'complicated'." He deflated. "It is very complicated."

"So, it's someone you love?" she continued.

Megamind's expression softened, defenses down. "Yes, it is someone I love very much."

"Wow," she breathed. "This is… I _never _would have thought anyone would hear you say- let alone, I mean-" she stopped herself. "Not that you're incapable, obviously you're not, but you seem to be going through a pretty intense state of change-"

"You're using your empathy on me right now, aren't you?"

"Well, yeah, I guess, but you don't need to be ashamed of it! Dude, even before you saved me, I was rooting for you; I want to see you be successful as a good guy! A lot of people do!"

"Everyone in this room is afraid of me, except you!" Suzi was silent, a bit disappointed. He set back in his chair, looking around him and pausing to think. "It is very daunting," he admitted. "The last few weeks have been difficult, to put it lightly, but I can hardly even _consider_ going back to supervillainy again because of this accursed empathy! If ever I were to enact another evil plan, I would be too concerned with who it might hurt to go forward with it!"

"You say that like it's a bad thing."

"Well, it does deprive me of options. Evil scheming is where I am comfortable."

"But you've outgrown it! What about this, ah, nameless lady you love. How would she feel if you went back to supervillainy?"

He sighed. "I believe she would be very disappointed in me indeed."

The two were silent for a few moments, Megamind melancholy as his eyes kept going to his cup of tea, Suzi increasingly hopeful. "Have you ever considered that maybe you should be Metro City's new defender?"

Megamind blinked dumbly. "Why would I do that?"

"Why wouldn't you do that?"

"Well, look around. The people in this room don't exactly like me."

"_You_ look around. Maybe they're not swarming you with gifts and kisses, but they aren't staring at you anymore."

Megamind looked behind him, seeing that she was right. The excitement and the fear had worn off, and the people in the store, even the terrified barista, had gone back to business as normal, albeit a nervous business as normal. Megamind turned back to Suzi, a little surprised.

Suzi shrugged. "If the problem is you don't know what to do with yourself, that seems like a good avenue to go down! You weren't the only supervillain that Metro Man fought…"

"No…"

"No, you were just the most… persistent! Now that Metro Man's gone and you've relinquished power, we're like sitting ducks! And being an ex-supervillain yourself, you have an advantage that Metro Man _didn't_."

Megamind's expression had brightened at the prospect, but when she stopped, it began to deflate again. "I can't imagine I'd ever be accepted," he said. "Strange, cerulean complexion and large bulbous head aside, I enacted countless evil plans against this city, destroyed its beloved hero _and_ eventually took it over-"

"Dude, let it go!" she said, exasperated. "They're not going to let it go until you let it go."

Megamind blinked, as though a light had gone on in his head. "Let it go…"

"Yeah, let it go!" said Suzi.

Megamind stood up dramatically, causing several fellow patrons to cringe or gasp in surprise. He stuck his hand out at Suzi. "Um, thank you, thank you very much for your advice."

She took it, trying not to show surprise at his jerky, awkward handshake. She stood up. "Of course, sure thing!"

"Will you be all right if I leave you now?"

"Sure, I live pretty close," she said, taking off his cape and handing it to him.

"Excellent!" he said. "Now go, and get out of the debt that crushes you to the point that you are terrified to set foot in a hospital!"

She chuckled, then gasped when he hugged her suddenly, smiling awkwardly at all of the surprised stares she was getting. "Thank you," he said. "Thank you! I have some things I need to attend to!"

"Go to it," she said, and he did, swooshing out of the café dramatically, and whipping out his cell phone in the process. Taking a deep breath as he headed towards his car, he began the texting process.

* * *

_Why are you crying?_

_I can't tell you._

_Of course you can tell me. What's wrong, chotu?_

_If I tell you what's wrong, I know you'll flip out._

_No, I won't. Just tell me what's wrong. Tell me why you're crying._

_If I tell you, you have to promise you won't leave me._

_I won't leave you. Just tell me why you're crying._

_Fine. I'm crying because I love you, and I know you don't love me, and I'm afraid when you'll find out you'll run away… Abhay? Abhay, why are you being so quiet?_

Roxanne was jolted out of her reverie by the sound of her phone going off and the flicker of the nightly news on the television in front of her. She shook her head, wondering why, of all the information in all the dingy pits of her brain, that memory kept coming into her mind when she had made such concerted effort to keep it buried for so long. This had been ten years ago. In those ten years ago, she had gone on dates. She had told some men, on occasion, that she loved them, but she never again told a man that she loved him, and meant it.

She flipped open her phone; the message was from Megamind.

_Could you please send me your mother's address where you're staying? LOL __ -MM_

She chuckled despite herself, shaking her head. Both as "Bernard" and Megamind, all of his texts had been dotted with "LOL"s.

"Roxie?" came her mother's voice from the foyer. "You awake?"

"Yeah, I guess I was kind of half-napping," she said. "Thinkin'. Stinkin.'"

Her mom came into the family room and sat down next to her, looking at the message. "It's him?"

"Mm-hmm. He wants your address." She turned and looked at her mother.

"Well, ah… hmm…"

"Yeah."

"You're positive he won't kidnap you?"

"That's not what I'm worried about," she sighed. "Truth is, I don't know _what_ I'm worried about. I don't think he'll blackmail me or anything, but there's this part of me that's afraid he'll come and uproot the house in the night and we'll wake up on Mars or something."

Lottie sighed, petting her daughter's hand. "What is the thing that frightens you most about this situation?"

Roxanne tossed the phone aside, and leaned her head on her mother's shoulder. "Honestly? _Honestly?_ It's his… damn… sincerity! I'm starting to realize that my _entire_ life, I've never dated guys who could do anything more than, you know, take it or leave it. I was always _an_ option, not _the_ option. And the worst part is, after all he's put me through and after all he's put the city through-" she winced, taking a deep breath as though it made her ill to say it. "I don't think any man has _ever _loved me as much as he does."

Lottie cocked her head to the side. This wasn't what she wanted to hear, true, but still, it was what it was, and she had to work with it. "Do you trust him?" she asked.

Roxanne sighed. "I kinda do, yeah. I mean, I think he will do what he _thinks_ is best for me."

Lottie steeled herself; she had _always_ wanted to sock Megamind in the face, once for every time he took her poor daughter into some abandoned warehouse or lab or cliff or garbage dump or what have you. If she ever brought him home, she supposed, she could get that bit out of the way quickly so they could all move on with life. "Well, give him my address, then. We'll just wait and see what happens, and with any luck we won't end up on Mars."

Roxanne picked up the phone, and after a moment's hesitation, texted him her mother's address. Within moments, she got the reply, _Thank you, my beautiful "nosy reporter"! Enjoy your evening; assure mother no kidnapping is planned. LOL __ MM_

"He has a strange sense of humor," said Lottie after a moment.

"Actually, I don't think he knows what LOL means."

"Look!" said Lottie, turning up the volume on the television. Speak of the devil, there was Megamind's anxious-looking visage, along with six terrified hostages.

"_City police called on former supervillain Megamind to neutralize the hostage situation; all six hostages survived. This marks the second heroic act for the city's once most wanted criminal. Is this dawning a new era for the once self-proclaimed Master of All Evil?"_

The next morning, there was a knock on the door. Roxanne answered it, wearing her robe and pajamas, a little scared of what might be on the other side. It was a man delivering a bouquet of flowers and a package. Roxanne was stunned by the flowers; they were simple, but very beautiful; warm colors with spashes of cool, which reminded her of autumn. Inside the package was a bag, what looked to be a small rolling piece of luggage. With it, there was a little card.

_For my Roxanne,_

_This is a little carry-on bag just for you for your trip back, so you won't have to deal with carrying around so much baggage anymore. I hear checking baggage can be very expensive these days. _

_Yours and only yours, LOL,_

_MM_


	6. Chapter 6

**WARNINGS**: Some adult themes and action in this one. Controversial subject material- am not trying to start political debate. ;)

* * *

"Love is the difficult realization that something other than oneself is real."

— Iris Murdoch

"Come again, sir?" said Minion, trying not to get angry.

"We have reached a crossroads, Minion!" he announced, laying out another shirt on one of his worktables, smoothing out the creases. It was a long sleeved black silk shirt, of a simple design. "_I_ have reached a crossroads! And for once, I can say 'I' and not really mean 'we'."

"I don't follow you, sir," said Minion. "Also, you've been gone all night. Where have you been?"

Megamind continued laying out several new shirts, pants, shoes, belts and other various accessories out on his workstation. "Deep in thought, wandering the streets, shopping, wandering the streets some more, contemplating, these new … _abilities_, how to incorporate them into my life, or even _if_ to incorporate. It is tricky, Minion, as it seems now that I _must_, there is no going back!"

"I'm still not following, sir," said Minion. He had been worried sick. He had come home the previous night to find that Megamind wasn't there, although he had seen him on the news rescuing those hostages. He waited dutifully, watched Jeopardy, then Wheel of Fortune, then NBC's comedy line-up before falling asleep. The following morning, Megamind still hadn't returned; in fact, he didn't return until mid-afternoon, a big, surprised grin on his face and more shopping bags than he could carry under his arms.

"It's called em_path_y, Minion," Megamind announced, dramatic forefinger held high. "A strange form of intuition seen also in humans! A complex form of psychological inference in which observation, memory, knowledge, and reasoning are combined to yield insights into the thoughts and feelings of others!"

Megamind paused as though he had reached the end of some show-stopping musical number. Minion was stunned. "Sir… you're saying through your telepathic link with Miss Ritchi, you've… developed the ability to empathize?"

"Yes!" he announced, leaving his purchases on the table and placing his hands on Minion's suit's shoulders. "Minion, do you realize what this means?"

Minion's mouth hung open. "It means… no, I don't know what it means."

"Simply put, it means we, well, _I_ cannot even consider going back to villainy," he said, his expression lost. "I tortured over that prospect all night before I realized how liberating it was!"

"Liberating?"

"Yes!" he said, continuing to lie out the clothes he had bought. "Villainy is a crutch of sorts, because I lacked this ability to empathize with others. I didn't even empathize with _you_, my best friend, my _only_ friend!"

"No, sir, you didn't."

Megamind turned to him, a little sad. "I truly am sorry, Minion."

Minion continued to stare at him, dumbstruck.

"It wasn't out of malice, and it wasn't as though I didn't care about you. I just could not … em_path_ize with you. I didn't know how!" He laughed, as though he had just solved the world's most perplexing riddle.

Minion's eyes were wide, his pupils tiny.

"Are you alright, Minion?"

Suddenly the robotic gorilla suit lumbered over to Megamind and scooped him up in a giant bear (well, gorilla) hug. Megamind was shocked, but carefully reciprocated the hug.

"I'm so glad!" said Minion.

"You are?" asked Megamind, surprised.

"It could be so hard, waiting on the beck and call of one of the most dense, unrepentant narcissists the world has ever known, you know?" Minion declared a though it was something Megamind would be happy to hear.

"Ah, right."

"Oh, I love you, boss!"

Megamind's expression softened. He leaned his face into the glass of the fish bowl. "I love you, too, Minion."

Minion put him down, and Megamind used his cape (presently one of the older black models) to wipe off the face smudge he had left on the glass. "I should probably clean your fish bowl, shouldn't I?"

If Minion wasn't already immersed in water, he may have cried tears of joy. "Oh, sir, you _have_ learned to empathize!"

Megamind powered down Minion's suit, and drew out the glass bowl portion of it. "So, sir, what are all the… new clothes for?"

Megamind drew Minion out of the suit, holding him carefully in his hand while he poured some water in another bowl for Minion to rest in while Megamind cleaned out the bowl and replaced the water. "They're for Roxanne," he said, placing Minion in the temporary bowl. "Or rather, they're for me to wear around Roxanne, on certain occasions. Or to wear in public, on certain occasions."

"And what occasions might those be, sir?"

When the phone rang, Megamind almost dropped Minion's bowl mid-wipe. He put it down and all but dove for the phone. "It's her!" he squeaked.

If Minion had had fingers, he would have crossed them.

"Hel-lo?"

"Hi there," said Roxanne. Megamind beamed; at least, she didn't seem put off by the flowers. "You surprised me this morning."

"I did? I hope it was a nice surprise."

"It was, actually. It was a very nice surprise." Megamind beamed. "I especially liked your practical little metaphor. I really needed a new carry-on."

Megamind let out a sigh of relief. "Oh, I'm glad to hear that."

"So, listen, I'm driving home right now, should be back in a couple of hours or so, and I was wondering if you weren't busy later-"

"What time do you want me?" he blurted.

"The trick is, not to appear over-eager," she reminded him good-naturedly.

"Oh, what's the point when-" he stopped himself. "I mean, you see right through me, let's be real here. You are so perceptive!" He smiled as though she could hear it over the phone.

"Fair enough, say, seven?"

"Seven it is, then!" he announced, still over-eager. He switched into a forced seductive mode. "I look forward to it."

He hung up the phone. Minion was still peeking over his temporary bowl, wearing a supportive smile. "Sir?"

"As I was saying," he said, finishing up Minion's bowl, "_these_ clothes I may use on occasions that call for a sense… of normalcy," he said.

* * *

Roxanne was surprised to see Megamind wearing normal-people clothes when she answered the door. That combined with his child-like, hopeful expression was surreal when she compared it to all the times he had cackled over her wearing his rock opera stage wear.

"What's the occasion?" she asked.

Megamind shrugged, handing her the bottle of wine he'd bought. "Being normal," he said.

Roxanne chuckled. "Is this a permanent thing?"

Megamind blinked. "No."

"No?"

"I thought it might be a nice, refreshing… 'sometimes' thing. Just as the Monster of Cookies decided to refer to his namesake 'cookie' food as a 'sometimes' snack." He came inside, and kissed her on the hand.

"That was a good call," said Roxanne. "I'm glad you came through the door; I was a little worried you might have come through the patio with a laser light show or something."

"Ahem, of course not," he said. In truth, he had tried to program a fleet of brain bots to bring him in on a heart shaped platform made of brain bots, but some of the red lights had been malfunctioning.

"Looks like you had an adventure yesterday without me," she said, sitting down on the couch.

"I did," he replied, sitting next to her. "People are intriguing when you're saving them from diabolical certain death rather than being the cause of it."

Roxanne laughed, though it was an empty laugh. She fingered the lapels of her shirt. Megamind awkwardly placed his hand on hers, a hopeful expression in his big, green eyes. "Welp," she said. "Here we are!"

"Yes, we are," he said. She was nervous. _Very_ nervous. He was beginning to realize that in so many years of terrorizing her she had never once been so nervous around him. He wanted to know why.

He carefully leaned in towards her, planting a kiss on her cheek. She closed her eyes; it was as though she was trying to force herself to relax but her body was hearing none of it. He cupped her jaw in his hand, kissing her other cheek.

She opened her eyes, looking at him, searching for something, though she wasn't sure what. He closed his eyes, placing his head next to hers.

At first it felt simple, innocent. He could feel her anxiety as easily as he could feel himself, and she could feel his affection towards her, which had a calming effect on her. It was alien to her still; she was hardly able to discern which feelings were his and which were hers. To him the distinction was clearer, more natural, and very comforting.

Now he has been sucked out of reality, into someplace dark, a dark mattress on a floor somewhere. He feels lost, but unafraid, like he is learning to speak a new language, but he is in someone else's body. _Me. Her_. _I'm her!_ He is in Roxanne's body, or rather the memory of it. She is younger, much younger, and there is a man inside of her, thrusting in and out, not looking at her face.

The man climaxes, and then he rolls off of her. The sense of hollowness she feels is unimaginable. Megamind has never in his life felt anything similar to what she is feeling now; used, unloved. She is in love with this man. His name is Abhay; born in Mumbai, half Japanese, half Indian. She finds him beautiful, exotic. She has been in relationships before, but has never been in love. Not like this. But he does not love her; he cannot love anyone he knows he will not marry, and he is in America to study, not to find a wife. He has told her that countless times, but he still draws her in, toys with her, seduces her. He enjoys seducing her.

She is angry. She is very angry with him. Abhay doesn't understand why she is angry. She is throwing her clothes on. Pulling her jeans over her skinny frame. He doesn't know. He _can't_ know, she won't tell him. She won't give him that power over her.

She came over here to tell him, but she won't tell him. She'll deal with this herself. Graduation is soon. _Tell him what?_ Megamind wants to know. Graduation is soon, her career will begin then in earnest. He'll move back to India, and she can finally move on.

He is angry with her; he is cajoling her to stay. She needs to move on; this is unhealthy. She _knows_ she needs to move on. He has put his pants on now; he wants to know what's wrong. He wants to know why she is so angry, why she is crying.

Megamind wants to know, too.

Why is she crying? Abhay is angry now, too. He feels impotent. He wants her to stop crying.

She is angry. Lost. She is pregnant.

_Pregnant?_

Megamind took in a sharp breath as he pulled away, his eyes wide with shock. He was back in Roxanne's apartment, and Roxanne was starring at him, mortified. She looked as though she was about to cry. After a moment of trying to get a word out, she finally managed, "How did you do that?"

"I don't know!"

"Oh my God," she said, standing up, grasping at her hair. Yes, she was crying now. He never thought, even back in his evilest of evilness, that he would ever see her cry. "Why would you do that? This is… not okay!"

"I didn't do it on purpose!" he cried, standing up. He approached her, but she backed away. "I had no idea about _any_ of that! Please, Roxanne, please trust me! I had no idea that would happen!"

"And why _that?_" she demanded. "Of all the most god-awful memories for your alien brain powers to drag up, why _that?_"

Megamind shook his head vehemently, holding his hands up. "I really don't know! How would I even know to _look_ for that memory?"

"That was so _long_ ago!" she whimpered, beginning to collapse to the floor. Megamind no longer resisted the urge to hold her. He reached out for her, repeatedly stopping himself awkwardly, fumbling at where the proper place to grab her shoulders might be "No," she said, pushing him away, but she wasn't putting any effort into it. He pulled her close, and she finally gave up, after a few moments wrapping an arm around his slim torso, her breath steadying.

"Listen," he said, "I'm very sorry, but I don't understand it any more than you do."

Roxanne released a little sob she'd been holding back. "Is that what it's going to be?" she asked. "Is this telepathic thing just going to be a clip show of all our most embarrassing painful moments?"

"I think, perhaps," said Megamind.

Roxanne pulled away from him. She hadn't been expecting him to say that. "I hope you don't take this personal, but in that case I think I'll just exit at this stop. I don't want to be a regular commuter on the pain train."

"No, I think…" he chuckled. "I think our link summoned that memory because I _needed_ it. We needed it."

Roxanne's expression only grew more horrified. "What could you _possibly_ get from seeing something like that?"

"I understand the things in your life that helped shape who you are," he said, his expression betraying an epiphany going on in that big head of his. "That must be it!" he said. "That must be the function of the telepathic link!" He picked up one of her hands, kissing it gingerly. "That must be why it only works on you."

"Wait, you've tested it on others?"

"Of course I have! I'm a scientist first." He smirked. Roxanne finally broke and smiled with him.

"This very aspect of it was what I was afraid of," she said after a few moments. "You getting into these things I never told _anyone_."

"I admit, it would be nice to have someone, a mentor figure of some sort help us and guide us. But on the other hand, isn't this exciting?"

"Exciting…" she breathed.

"Yes, you and I on this journey of discovery, together!" he said. Roxanne didn't look thrilled. "Just think, Roxanne! What happened to you has _never_ happened to another human on this planet!"

"I don't think they'd envy me," she said, forcing a laugh. "This isn't the cool kind of telepathy where it's reading thoughts and controlling bodies; it's the scary kind where you can't control what information is shared and the gatekeeper is apparently your subconscious. And that…" she rubbed her temple. "I never wanted you to know about that. I never wanted _anyone_ to know about it."

Megamind recalled the intense emotions surround the memory. "What happened, Roxanne?" he asked delicately.

"Oh, what do you think happened?" she said, shrugging it off. Megamind deflated, understanding dawning in his eyes. She smirked, shaking her head. "Even if he hadn't wanted me to go through with it as much as he did, and he _did_, oh, he did. I probably would have done it anyway. I had a career to start and a babydaddy who would have resented me and the child for the rest of his life." She shrugged. "So that's life."

Megamind didn't know what to say. "You didn't want to do it," he said, following some distant feeling connected to that memory.

"Who wants to go through with that? That is _not_ a fun thing to go through, especially alone like I was. Megamind…" she sighed. "You are, in many ways, hopelessly naïve and innocent. You always have been."

"I'm beginning to see that."

"And the world is so much more complicated than… death rays and… alligator pits." She buried her face in her knees. "I don't know what it is I'm trying to say."

Again, he held her close to him. "Roxanne, I understand that it's painful, but why be embarrassed? You remember whom you're dealing with, right? Who am _I_ to judge or make you feel bad? I mean, I'm an ex-supervillain! Just wait until we get into _my_ bad memories."

"I look forward to it," she said flatly.

"I agree with your sarcasm," he said. "You probably won't speak to me for a few days after some of them."

"And that doesn't bother you?"

"Not at all," he said. His confidence finally started to calm her. "I think it's _exciting!_"

She looked at him, waiting; he used the sleeve of his new shirt to wipe her tears, and then leaned in to kiss her. She was actually glad of it; even if this idea did frighten her, he didn't. He began kissing her deeper, far deeper than he ever had. At first he wasn't very good at it, as anyone might be who had no idea what they were doing, but he quickly intuited what he was doing wrong; he used his tongue more softly, his lips more precisely, as though he was following her instructions. _Okay, maybe this aspect of the telepathy isn't so bad._

She didn't fight when he lowered her down on the floor, and the two continued kissing there on her rug. His fingers were running over her skin, curious and careful, as though she was some new scientific curiosity. "_Please let me in,"_ he said. Or did he think it? He must have said it; she felt his breath on her neck.

_I need time, _she thought. _I just need time._

His kissing became more aggressive, his curious fingers bordering on audacious. _Please let me inside you._

_Okay._

He stopped kissing her, his eyes big and surprised. Roxanne opened her eyes, not sure what to say.

"I understand," he said, sitting up.

"What is it?" He helped her to sit up as well.

"You said you need time," he said. She started to say something, but stopped herself, startled. "I… understand. I understand completely." He gave her a small, shy smile.

At first she was startled that he had stopped so suddenly. For a moment she had been convinced that she was about to find out whether or not they actually were anatomically compatible. But then her shock broke into a big smile, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, even kissing him on the cheek a few times.

Megamind started to ask why it made her so happy; she had _asked_ for more time, hadn't she? It wasn't until a few hours later, when she was curled up in the crook of his arm, fully clothed and fast asleep in her weirdly cushiony bed, that he realized how rare it was for people in relationships to put the needs of their other before their own. If this was his first test, he'd actually _passed_ it despite being wholly unprepared.

Roxanne sighed in her sleep. Megamind was beaming, oversaturated with dumb happiness. Her nervousness had worn off a while ago. He knew _very_ little about love, but as far as he could tell, making sure her needs were met before his, and not being bitter about it, was the first and most important criteria. Love was a tricky field to navigate, but he felt he was getting the hang of it.

And _that_ was exciting.


End file.
